Before we begin, yes, I am single. Not ‘taking a break,’ not ’emotionally unavailable,’ not ‘focused on myself’ (though I can and will catch feelings over minimal effort). Just single.
And somehow, for reasons I can’t fully defend, I remain wildly optimistic about finding that someone.
So yes, I have thoughts. Actually…comments, questions, and a whole lot of concerns. Unfortunately for you all, I am writing them down… for you to enjoy in this dating column.
This may seem ironic. Or brave. Or mildly unhinged, depending on your perspective. But being single doesn’t mean being unacquainted with love. It doesn’t mean cynical, bitter, or being emotionally barricaded behind three layers of sarcasm.
If anything, it has made me a better observer of it. I notice it everywhere: strangers sharing an umbrella, the person walking out of the grocery store with a bouquet and hope, and even the most dramatic ‘I’m done with dating’ rant (said unconvincingly, right before double texting).
I write about romance not because I’ve mastered it, but because I’m deeply curious about how it works; it keeps me inspired… It’s my muse. I love watching how people move through attraction like it’s a game with secret rules no one actually explains.
I’m intrigued by the way people lie on the first date and call it ‘putting our best foot forward,’ only to have the truth come out six months later.
By how we confuse chemistry for compatibility and potential for commitment.
By the insane confidence we have when giving friends dating advice, we would never, under any circumstances, take ourselves.
By how love can make us incredibly generous and wildly delusional in equal measure.
I’m inspired by my own mess, too. The almost-relationships. The slow fades. Being the ghoster and the ghostee (character development). The situationships where I’d say “I don’t think it’s going anywhere” but squeal when he finally texts back… seven hours later. Growth is not linear.
This column isn’t about how to ‘win’ at dating, because I’m not convinced that’s the point.
It’s about the stories we tell ourselves while we’re in it; the narratives we cling to, the red flags we paint beige (and occasionally green if they’re taller than 6 feet), and the fantasies we project onto people who haven’t earned them.
If you’re lovingly partnered, painfully single (self-imposed or not), freshly heartbroken, or emotionally unattached, this space is for you.
We’ll discuss attraction and avoidance, intimacy and independence, why we desire what we do, and why we sometimes sprint away from it the moment we finally get it.
Question the how-tos, how-not-tos, and the ‘why does this keep happening to me’s?’ We’ll revisit the should’ve, could’ve, would’ve scenarios…probably more than once.
But for now, I’ll be right here, observing, questioning, and writing as someone inspired, open, still single, and convinced that those three things can absolutely coexist.
Got love-related topics you want us to talk about? Let us know here or on social media @themuseyyt!
